Body Image

While some women — celebrities and otherwise — may not be able to find the right words to fight back against mean-spirited comments about their appearance, when Ashley Judd was hit with remarks that attacked her "puffy" face and weight gain, she had a great response. During the last month or so, Ashley has been in the public eye for her swollen-looking face that some have concluded must mean she's getting plastic surgery done. But the sad reality is it's really a side effect from the steroid medications she's been taking for illness. Ashley Judd wrote a piece on The Daily Beast that took the rebuttal to a whole new, feminist — and empowered — level. In the smart essay, she takes on the naysayers by pointing out how our culture's obsession with women's outer looks are a misogynistic attack on our sex. Here are some of our favorite points:

• For women, it's all about the outward appearance: "We are described and detailed, our faces and bodies analyzed and picked apart, our worth ascertained and ascribed based on the reduction of personhood to simple physical objectification. Our voices, our personhood, our potential, and our accomplishments are regularly minimized and muted."
• Sexism against women comes from both sexes: "Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate. It privileges, inter alia, the interests of boys and men over the bodily integrity, autonomy, and dignity of girls and women. It is subtle, insidious, and never more dangerous than when women passionately deny that they themselves are engaging in it."
• Striving for beauty is a lose-lose situation: "I ask especially how we can leverage strong female-to-female alliances to confront and change that there is no winning here as women. It doesn't actually matter if we are aging naturally, or resorting to surgical assistance. We experience brutal criticism. "
• This constant critique of women's appearance affects more than we realize: "It affects each and every one of us, in multiple and nefarious ways: our self-image, how we show up in our relationships and at work, our sense of our worth, value, and potential as human beings."

Yoga class is supposed to be all serene and spiritual, but it's hard to feel enlightened when you break the silence by loudly breaking wind. We're all adults, so we shouldn't feel embarrassed, but it's hard to bounce back into bliss after such an awkward distraction. Plenty can happen during a yoga class to make you want to crawl under your mat and hide, and although you can't prevent everything, here are some ways to lower your risk for bodily function humiliation.

Loud Outbursts From Your Tush
Gas gets passed. It happens. But it's mortifying when it happens to you in a completely quiet room of people trying to breathe! There are a few ways you can lower your risk of tooting accidentally. First off, trying out that new Mexican place a couple hours before your yoga class is probably not the best idea. Skip eating the foods you know lead to gas like beans, meat, onions, and broccoli, and avoid trying new foods in case your digestive system rebels. Certain poses are also more likely to encourage gas to pass, such as forward bends, twists, and poses where your knees pull into your chest. I'm not telling you to avoid them completely, but move into questionable postures with caution if you know flatulence is an issue. If a barking spider finds it's way into your capris, I find it best to pretend it didn't happen, or laugh to dispel any weirdness.

Keep reading to learn how to prevent being stinky, nip slips, and air in your lady parts.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

So my BF is very loving and always compliments me about what I wear, about my body, my hair, my skin, eyes and etc . . .

but the other day, he told me that If I had a nose surgery, I would look like wow! I said I'm not getting a surgery ever and I am fine with the way my nose looks (which is a lie! I know and everybody knows my nose does not look very great! But I was serious about the surgery because I think it ruins all the natural things about one's face.)

So I told him that he is shallow. He became very apologetic and told me that I am so beautiful and already look like a celebrity, it's just it is such a shame that the only imperfection about me should be the nose, but he said he will not mention it again and he loves me the way I am.

But the thing is, I am not a tall girl, and I know my BF likes tall girls, and although I look very athletic and am very confident about my body and he always tells me he loves my body, but when we go to beach I can't help but wonder if he's thinking about all the tall girls with their long legs. He is very handsome and I think he can have whoever he wants.

And now this stupid nose thing has to add up to the rest of my worries? And we are only eight months into this relationship.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.

In today's society, when people talk about their body, the conversation usually revolves around the physical attributes that make up their body. When listening to the media or even conversations amongst people, there is often frustration about how the body looks as well as how it is letting us down.

What can we do to be in a better relationship with our body? It is no different than if we wanted to build a better relationship with a friend: we need to spend time with it, acknowledge it, appreciate it and take care of it! Spending time with ourselves and getting to know our body is important. Do you know what your body needs?

Let's take food for example. There is so much information written about healthy nutrition. Many "experts" give their opinions about what is best for all people. I have spent thousands of dollars, countless hours reading and following someone else's advice to achieve the body of my dreams. Has this worked? No! It has been an incredibly frustrating journey and one that has not helped me get to where I want to be.

But in the past couple of years, things have changed. I have let a lot of the expert advice go. I now spend time learning to listen to my inner expert. I have a tremendous amount of knowledge about healthy nutrition. My years as a nurse, nutrition junky and health fanatic have armed me with hundreds of theories about what I should and should not do. I have taken all of this advice, sifted it through my life experience and come up with what works the best for me.

To read more, check out YourTango: 7 Ways You Can Learn To Love Your Body

Written by Gerrianne Clare for YourTango.

More from YourTango:

• Should You Sleep With Him On The First Date?
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This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been dating this guy for 7 years. When we met I was 150 pounds. I am 5'5''. Over the last 7 years I had put on 30 pounds and was at 180 pounds. Eight months ago, right before I went on a 3-month vacation with my family, he told me that I have put on a lot of weight, and though he still thinks I'm beautiful, there are issues with health and sexiness and attractiveness and he thinks it would be best if I lost weight. Of course being a silly proud girl I spent the next few days crying and hating him. But then I knew he was right. So in 4 months I lost 20 pounds and I am now at 160 pounds. At first he said he was so proud of me, etc. . . . but after another month or two he is now saying that I should lose more weight still.

At 5'5'' and 160 pounds, I know that I'm still far from skinny. And I do want to lose weight. I am an emotional eater, and I hate exercising (although I push myself to) I don't want to make excuses. But now I am having serious pride and feeling issues toward him. I know that he only wants what every guy would want (a girlfriend he can be proud of and be attracted to) and that I wouldn't want to be with someone I'm not attracted to either. But every time I think about this tears fall down my face, and I have trouble looking him in the eye without feeling ashamed and ugly.

To be fair, we have a code of honesty in our relationship and he broke the "you should lose weight" messages to me nicely, followed by "I love you" and "you're beautiful." But I can't help how I feel — now every time I look at him I feel fat and ugly and inferior. I don't want to have bad feelings toward him for being the messenger of bad news. I don't know what to do.

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