My Boyfriend Has Been Ignoring Me For 2 Weeks

"My Boyfriend Has Been Ignoring Me For Two Weeks"

January 27, 2012

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been in this relationship with my boyfriend for about six years now, and we have had troubles, but eventually we solve them. About two weeks ago, my boyfriend started to ignore me. He is not calling me at all, and I do all the calling to check up on him. I tried to talk to him about this, and all he said was that he's busy and has no time to talk, but that he loves me. Every time I call him, he apologizes and tells me how much he loves me.

At this point, I'm asking myself how it's possible not to find even one minute to call and say "Hello" for two entire weeks, but have time to go online and go about daily life. What about the weekends? I am confused and feel trapped . . . is he breaking up with me and just can’t say it to my face? I just wish he would be more clear with me so I can have a better view about what is going on. I really love him and six years is just too long to break up now, but I am really in pain because of the way he has disrespected me.

Five days ago I told him I was going to give him a week to think about the way he treats me and if he's ready to change that, he should call me. I told him that if he didn't call back, then I would know his answer. I honestly didn't know what else to do to end this circle . . . Please give me your point of view and your explanations behind his actions!

*Please don't tell me talk to him because everybody is telling me to do that and it's not working . . . when I talk to him, he disrespects me, even laughing at me because I am crying. He said that I bothered him with my questions and that he's tired of me and my conversations with him.

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28 Comments

Melficent 1 year

Have some self respect and move on!! It's obvious by his behaviour that he is over you and you need to get away from that dick! He laughed when you cried.. what does that really say to you?? Yes 6 years is a long time so DONT spend another day putting up with this crap.

Quriosity 1 year

Mmm so he ignored you, won't communicate with you, and laughed at you when you cry? Hmmm!! To keep or not to keep??Even if you have the possibility of being too needy and co-dependent as someone said, that's still not an excuse to treat you like that. If that's the case, then he should just man up, be mature and tell you that you are needy and co-dependent. Except he used the easiest excuse, "I'm busy." Wow he just brushed you off like that. I don't' think that attitude is acceptable.You've been with him for 6 years, yes, there must've been good times back then, but the presence is what leads to the future. If there are no other better reasons to stay with him (and 'we've already been together for so long already' is NOT a good reason) why waist more time?? It's been 6 years already! BUT if he would communicate and be honest as to why he's acting like this, solve the problem, then alright.How about also try to imagine yourself in his shoes, why the heck would he ignore you for 2 weeks? If all the things you could come up with is that he's up to no good, he's bored, he's mad at you and would tell you, he doesn't care etc. Then you know what to do. You wouldn't ignore him for full 2 weeks and brush him off if you love and care for someone.

henna red 1 year

He's told you he's not going to change his behavior. He's blamed his abusiveness on you. It doesn't matter if you think he owes you some explanation or apology. It doesn't matter that it's been six years. He's done. He's working to make it as bad as it can be so you will leave him alone. Leave him alone. Focus on you, on getting on with your life. Without him. If you keep asking him for more, he'll give you more abuse until you leave him alone. Leave him alone. This is not a break. This is you not prepared to deal with your life if he is not in it. He is not in it in any positive way. He will not be in it in an positive way. He is done. Stop inviting more pain into your life. Cut contact. Be done. As Helen said, walk away. Time for a total change.

Helen Danger 1 year

A guy who acts this rude and nasty is trying to make you so mad that you will break up with him. He doesn't want space. He wants you to break up with him. He won't tell you what you need to hear and he won't act like he is supposed to act. He won't be direct or fair or decent about any of it. He will lie when it suits him. And he will treat you worse and worse. At some point, and we have already probably passed that point, he will start to hurt you and jerk you around for sport. "Wow, let's see what more I can do to this girl. What will it take for her to say enough is enough? As long as I say I love her, I can get her to come back and smack her down again and again." Walk away. It's the only thing to do if you want to keep your dignity.

ChrissyLee 1 year

Being together for 6 years is not a good enough reason not to break up with a man who is disrespecting you. I'm sure you know by now that actions speak louder than words, so regardless of what he is saying he's showing you that he's done with the relationship. Laughing at you for crying is just mean and you should respect yourself enough to move on. Tell him you're done and get over him, you deserve better than this.

Pure2241919 1 year

RoseAnglaise your website suggestion was helpfull ... i liked it ...

Pure2241919 1 year

do men said they need some space or they just act rude so to give them that ?

Pure2241919 1 year

dear karlotta ... you said you have been in the same situation iam in ... yes , am going to give myself some space away from him ... but i want to ask : did your boyfriend said rude and hurtful words to you when he needed some space? .... i have been asking him if he wanted some space and i will give him that but he said no ... how you made it work? becuase i tried every thing ....

Pure2241919 1 year

its really painful when someone hurt you and they know but they deny it ..... sometimes i just think he wants to keep me trapped .. i asked him two questions : did he think he is not suppose to apologize for the hurtful words he said to me? ... and did he think this is the way he should treat me? ...... and he didn't give me a straight answer .. all he said he is treating me like for a reason and that reason i was shouting .... i was only shouting after i got frustrated and hurt ..... i don't know what to think ... i just gave up on him ... i don't think he is going to stop treating me like this ...

Pure2241919 1 year

thanks everyone .... an update .... after the week i gave him ... yes he didn't call so i called him back .. and yes .. he is saying am the problem and am the reason he treat me this way and he don't think he should apologize for the way he was doing to me .... all this because i was shouting on the phone but he forgat that he ignored me for 3 weeks and treated me so rude .... he said am the one who should to apologize .... i really gave up on this .. i will just move on and keep my options open ....

karlotta 1 year

Maybe you're too needy and co-dependent, and this is a good time to reflect on your own behavior. Sometimes my boyfriend of 6 years and I are tired of seeing each other, which is normal when you live together and spend so much time with each other. I used to get offended when he'd act distant and irritated, until I felt the same need for space myself - which didn't happen at the same time in our relationship but was a huge revelation on his motives when it did a year or two later. We love each other like crazy but sometimes our minds and lives are just on something else, and our relationship works wonderfully because we respect each other's needs to concentrate on something else than "us". It doesn't always happen at the same time so it takes a lot of compromise and understanding; but he's grateful for the time he can spend composing in his studio, so when I'm writing a big article, he respects my need for silence and space - and vice-versa. Maybe your BF isn't done so much as he's reached the point where he needs time on his own, which is perfectly normal; maybe he's going through something that requires a lot of thinking or dedication, and he's like a lot of men, mono-minded. How about not putting all this pressure on him, going off to do your own thing, and seeing where that takes you? He'll be grateful for the space, and will only pull back more if you light a fire with ultimatums under his @ss. Trust me, I've lived it. I've also been in his shoes, being totally immersed in a project, and having him nag me for attention, and i just wanted to bash him in the head, even though I love him to pieces and would not leave him in a million years. So, no, all of this does not mean he's on his way out or doesn't care. He just needs space, and it's perfectly human.

thirdecade 1 year

He is showing you that he is done- even though he is saying something that makes you feel otherwise. Some guys are just non confrontational and would prefer no to be the one that does the actual breaking up. His actions are speaking loud and clear and maybe is waiting for you to be fed up enough to end it. After six years together, you do not deserve this disrespect. I think as much as it hurts- i agree with Steph- just end it. Don't give him any more power and control of your relationship - it seems like he has it all right now. Rather than wait for 6-7 days for him to come around or not you should make the decision for you both.

RoseAnglaise 1 year

Any time a man ridicules your tears, RUN as fast as you can in the opposite direction and never look back! Suggestion: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk.

steph1234 1 year

Oh my! This is not how someone who loves you should react to you. If he told you that he is tired of you, then I think you know what's happening here and you need to face it head on. Just tell him you're done with him. 6 years is an awful long time, and I'm so sorry you are having to go through this now after all of the time invested in him...but in my opinion it sounds like talking won't work..that you 2 are just avoiding the inevitable.

hilberkl 1 year

He's laughing at you for crying? Get rid of him. Not worth it.

mrscharles 2007 1 year

I dated a guy like this off and on for about 5 years. He would do that to me when he was interested in dating someone else, but he didn't have the guts to actually say it to me. He would laugh at me, try to make me feel like I was the problem, etc. He was no good for me and I should have left him long before I did. I am now married and being with someone who treats me wonderfully has made me realize how awful my ex was. You should respect yourself and remember that he has no right to treat you that way. Get out now and if he tries to get you back (which he will once you stop talking to him), don't go back to him. You deserve so much better!

nicole121482 1 year

Ummmm...yes, I do believe it's time to get rid of this guy...he obviously wants out and doesn't have the balls to do it himself! Move on to someone who will treat you better!

lcrox07 1 year

Yes, very true. He wants to keep you as a security blanket for sex so as long as you don't give into that he will consider you back. It seems to me like he is a coward and is breaking up with you slowly. I suggest you move forward. I was also in a 6 year relationship. It will only take as long as you allow it.

Raynne413 1 year

It's because he wants to keep you around for sex, or companionship whenever he gets lonely or bored. Don't listen to his words. Listen to his actions. And his actions show that he doesn't respect you and he doesn't care about you.

Pure2241919 1 year

but am just wondering why he keep on saying he loves me and doesn't want to leave me ... he treat me like nothing and then says he loves me ...

Pure2241919 1 year

thank you every one .... i needed some support and opinions ....

missmaryb 1 year

Yes, 6 years is a long time. But can you imagine not leaving and possibly enduring a whole lifetime of being made to feel like garbage? I'm guessing you're fairly young, so you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to find happiness and a man who will treat you the way you deserve. I agree with everyone that you should break up with him for good and focus your energy on healing all the damage he's caused you. Good luck.

henna red 1 year

I think you should do exactly what you've said you would do. He, for whatever reason, has cut you out, brutaly and cruely. I wouldn't even call him again. He's said he's done, then it's done. It doesn't matter why. Ultimately the why is about him, not about you. I'm sorry you've had such an ending after so much investment of your time and love. It's time now, to let it go, put him out of your life, out of your phone, and certainly with no guilt! None at all! Losing your relationship is so painful, but if he has this in him, this nastiness, meaness, cruelty, then thank God he's gone! It's time to mourn, time to work at healing. I'm wishing you the best possible, which is someone very different than him. blessed be

Pure2241919 1 year

thank you all .... every time am telling him if he didn't treat me right am going to leave ... and he makes me feel guilty about it by saying .. its your decision and do what ever you want to do ... making me feel like it doesn't matter if i stayed or not .... but i won't feel guilty about it anymore ...

Pazuzu 1 year

This guys a douche. If you tried talking to him and he disrespected you, laughed at you, then he is a filthy scumbag. Leave him right now! He doesn't deserve you and you deserve to be happy. Break up with him, tell him hes a jerk and not worthy of you, tell him he can rot in hell. Fill your life with things and people that make you happy. Build yourself up again. This isn't about you, its not about you not being a good girlfriend. Its about his shortcomings and his problems. Don't let him blame you, its not your fault its his. You deserve a man that will respect you and treat you with love and kindness.

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