I Lost My Sex Drive

by Tara Block 0

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

I think a lot of women have had this issue at one point or another, but what do you do when you've completely lost your libido?

I've been in a relationship for 5 years. I'm very happy with my partner. I'm attracted to him physically and emotionally. But I just don't have it in me anymore! Sex feels like a chore to me now when I used to love it! It's really great when we manage to get into it, but it's always so hard to start and he always has to initiate because I never feel like it. I feel so bad because he thinks it's his fault, and it's not. Maybe TMI, but honestly, I don't even want to touch myself anymore.

My drive started to drop when I started taking Ortho Tri-Cyclen lo (when I was 18) and 2 months ago I started taking Aviane (I'm 24 now) do you think birth control has anything to do with it? I've only been on Aviane for such a short time. There's been some spotting (again TMI sorry) and that DEFINITELY doesn't make me feel sexy, but I'm told that's normal and will stop eventually . . .

We lived together for most of our relationship, but my boyfriend currently lives in another city (only an hour away) while he takes a 12-month course and would consider it semi-LDR because I can only see him every other weekend due to schedule conflicts (we've been doing this for 6 months so far). Because I don't see him often I WANT to want him. I miss him terribly when we're apart and count down the days till I can see him, so why don't I want sex or even to pleasure myself when he's not home with me? Please help!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice.