wedding etiquette

Wedding

Ask a Savvy Bride: Tradition and Registry Questions Solved

Wedding planning and etiquette can be tricky, which is why I called on a savvy bride planning her own wedding to share special Wedding Season advice here on SavvySugar.

Wedding planning and etiquette can be tricky, which is why I called on a savvy bride planning her own wedding to share special Wedding Season advice here on SavvySugar. Her series, Ask a Savvy Bride, tackles wedding dos and don'ts from a bride's perspective. Here's a peek at her answers to your pressing registry and tradition dilemmas.


Our Wedding List Is Breaking the Bank!

How Should I Share Where We're Registered?

My Fiancé Doesn't Want Me to Register!

Should I Spend More on a Honeymoon Registry?

We Can't Afford to Buy From Their Registry!

How Should I Choose the Traditions to Keep?

Ask anything budget-, etiquette-, or planning-related — well, almost anything — by posting your questions in the Ask Savvy group, and I'll find the right expert to help you out.

Wedding

Wedding Etiquette: Are Your Kids Invited?

It can be difficult to decode wedding invitations and decide whether or not your kids are invited, but learning the proper etiquette guidelines will help you clear things up.


It can be difficult to decode wedding invitations and decide whether or not your kids are invited, but learning the proper etiquette guidelines will help you clear things up. Whether you're struggling with vague wording or an unusual format, we've gathered a few tips to define the gray areas. Not sure how to handle your reply card? Follow these pointers to respond in a gracious, respectful manner, and if your kids are included, then follow these tips to ensure that they're welcome, well-behaved guests:

  • Your invitation reads "Mrs. Smith": It's perfectly fine to get in touch and ask about possible plus-ones, whether you're wondering about your children or a date. If you do have questions, then steer clear of texting or email. Call and thank the bride and groom for the invitation, and then politely ask about wedding specifics to bring up the plus-one topic.
  • Your invitations reads "Mr. and Mrs. Smith": According to the Emily Post etiquette guidelines, you can assume that your children are not invited if this wording appears on the envelope. As a general rule, only the names that are specifically addressed are guaranteed an invitation.
  • Your invitation reads "The Smith Family": In this case, things are a bit less clear. Typically, an envelope addressed to the entire family means that everyone is invited — kids included. Still, if your children range in age, then you may want to follow up and confirm with the bride and groom. If they've set an age limit, then the invitation should be addressed to each invited member of the family, but it's best to communicate and be sure before you assume anything.

Still not sure? Don't hesitate to reach out and ask. It's better to find out for certain than to guess, as seating charts and final guest counts are crucial to the couple's planning process. Be kind and straightforward, and respect any guidelines the bride and groom have set for their big day.

Photo by Matthew Moore Photography via Style Me Pretty

Wedding

The New Wedding Gift-Giving Rules For Guests

With the passage of time comes a change in traditions.


With the passage of time comes a change in traditions. We know what traditional wedding gift-giving etiquette dictates, but what rules should we go with now? I polled a few hundred SavvySugar readers who chimed in with their preferences for gift-giving etiquette. Here are the results:

You can choose to skip or keep to the registry: Half of the readers say that it's OK to skip the registry, while half say it's not. You know your situation and the couple best, so it's your decision if you wish to skip or stick to the gift registry.

Spend what you can: The majority — 53 percent — think that you should spend what your budget allows for. It's not rude to underspend if your finances can't cover a pricey gift.

You can bring your gifts to the wedding: It's fine to bring your gifts to the wedding, according to readers. Some people feel it's rude to bring gifts to the wedding and saddle the newlyweds with the hassle of transporting their gifts home, but the majority think it's totally fine to do so.

Buying a gift when you're not attending is up to your discretion: It's a tie between people who think you should buy a gift and those who think you don't need to bother with one if you're not attending the wedding. It's up to you and how you feel about the issue and how close you are to the couple.

Gifts should be given on time: Some say that gifts can be sent one year after the wedding, and there are some that say it is bad manners to do so. Readers feel that gifts should be given on time and that guests should avoid the one-year waiting period.

You should always give a gift if you're attending the wedding: If you're going to be at the wedding, 80 percent of readers unanimously agree that you should always, always give a gift.

Do you agree with any of these rules?

Wedding

Here Come the Kids! 7 Tips For Making Big Days Fun For Your Lil Ones

Here come the kids!
Here Come the Kids! 7 Tips For Making Big Days Fun For Your Lil Ones

Here come the kids! Some couples opt for an adults-only bridal affair and others welcome the pitter-patter of little feet on their wedding day. Whether your lil one is playing a featured role in a wedding as flower girl or ring bearer, or you're just bringing the whole family to witness a couple's nuptials, here are some tips for keeping your children — and the bride — happy.

Source: Flory Photo, Petite Fete, and Simply Savannah Events

Wedding

Wedding Etiquette: Who Should Be Invited to the Rehearsal Dinner?

Between engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and all the day-of festivities, it can be difficult to know who exactly needs to be invited to each wedding event.


Between engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and all the day-of festivities, it can be difficult to know who exactly needs to be invited to each wedding event. The rehearsal dinner can be an especially gray area — who should host? Who should be invited? Traditionally, the groom's parents take care of the rehearsal dinner, but the two sets of parents can also split the cost, or the bride and groom can opt to pay themselves. Not sure who to invite? We're clearing things up with answers to the most common guest list questions.

Do I need to invite all the out-of-town guests?
That's entirely up to you, but it is a common practice. If you're planning a smaller wedding or there aren't many traveling guests, then it's a great way to spend more time with the people you rarely see. On the other hand, if it's a large destination wedding or several guests will be coming into town, it may be best to streamline your rehearsal dinner guest list.

Who absolutely must be invited?
Although the list can be flexible, you should definitely include the bridal party plus their dates, both immediate families, and grandparents. From there, see what kind of numbers your budget and venue will allow, then add to the group as you wish. Stick with a hard-and-fast rule — no cousins, no family friends, etc. — to keep things fair and avoid offending any loved ones.

Do we need to send invitations?
In general, it's a smart move, if only to get a head count for both the host and the caterer. Depending on the formality of the affair, there's no need to go all-out with the invitation expense. If it's an upscale event, sure, keep things classy with a nicer invitation. But if you're hoping to minimize costs, it's perfectly OK to go with a simple card or evite that outlines the basics.

How did you handle your rehearsal dinner guest list? Any tips for planning brides-to-be?

Photos by Katie Stoops Photography and Melissa Schollaert Photography via Style Me Pretty

Advice

Reader Advice For Engagement Woes, Bachelor Parties, Wedding Guest Dilemmas, and More!

Wedding season has kicked in, and everyone involved from the bride to the bridesmaids to the guests has questions surrounding the big day.

Wedding season has kicked in, and everyone involved from the bride to the bridesmaids to the guests has questions surrounding the big day. Whether it's gift etiquette, cold feet, crazy future mother-in-laws, bachelor party fears, guest list dilemmas, or bridezilla freakouts, our readers have been through many of the common road bumps on the way to the altar, and have sought advice from other women in our anonymous Group Therapy forum. So take a look at some reader dilemmas on everything from the proposal to the big day, and click through each inquiry to see the advice from other readers.

Wedding

8 Mistakes Every Bridesmaid Should Avoid

It's an honor to stand up in a friend's wedding, and along with that recognition comes a range of responsibilities — but just how far do those responsibilities stretch?

It's an honor to stand up in a friend's wedding, and along with that recognition comes a range of responsibilities — but just how far do those responsibilities stretch? Where's the line between helpful and overbearing, between celebrating and insulting? When it comes to wedding dos and don'ts, the boundaries aren't always clear. If you plan to be a bridesmaid any time soon, avoid these common blunders to maintain your integrity and make sure your friend feels supported on her big day.

Advice

"How Much Should I Spend on a Destination Wedding Gift?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My best friend is getting married on a beach about 2,000 miles from where we live, so I'm already spending a good deal of money to stay for the week and see her tie the knot. Since I'm spending so much on the trip, how much should I spend on a wedding gift? Honestly, I won't have much of anything left over by the time I pay for travel. My mom thinks that my presence should be the gift and that I only owe my friend a card. Thoughts?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

community

Ask Savvy: I Can't Afford My Friend's Wedding

Have you ever been asked to be part of a bridal party that you can't afford?

Have you ever been asked to be part of a bridal party that you can't afford? If so, offer up your advice to a reader who's stuck in the same predicament. And if you have any questions of your own, ask them in the Ask Savvy group!

I have been asked to participate in my friend's wedding as a bridesmaid. Unfortunately, I cannot afford the extravagant wedding and celebrations leading up to the wedding. At the moment, a conservative estimate for what I'll have to pay is $1,500. I'm worried my friend will kick me out of her wedding or, worse, stop being my friend altogether. I need advice on how to politely explain to her that all of this is way out of my price range. I feel like a bad friend for not being able to "do it all," but I can't afford to go into debt.

Ask anything budget-, etiquette-, or planning-related — well, almost anything — by posting your questions in the Ask Savvy group, and I'll find the right expert to help you out.