Funny Tweets by Women From March 2014

Get your end-of-the-week jolt with a healthy helping of Tweets Girls Say. The funniest women on Twitter shared hilarious musings on dating advice, single woes, and sexual wins and losses. And don't worry, "conscious uncoupling" made it there as well. Check 'em out now, and for even more funny, follow us on Twitter!

Welcome to Bed Bath & Beyond, wanna know what the 'Beyond' is? [whispers] A sex dungeon! No I don't work here. Yeah ok I'll leave you alone.

— Bez (@Bez) March 21, 2014

CHARLOTTE: Harry and I did a conscious uncoupling CARRIE: And *I* got subconscious cuddling! I had a sex dream...about Aidan! [all scream]

— Sex and the City 3 (@SATC3quel) March 25, 2014

I wanna fit in on Facebook so I write things like "I can't wait to marry my best friend!" then I insert a random date.

— Stephanie Mickus (@smickable) March 26, 2014

A school banned girls' yoga pants since they don't want boys distracted. Not yet banned: sex ed, teachers under 50, and stiff gusts of wind.

— Chelsea Davison (@chelsea_davison) March 28, 2014

Don't even look at my dog if you're not single.

— jacqueline carbajal (@jackiecarbajal) March 23, 2014

Tinder keeps matching me with people I didn't right swipe. Even my apps are sick of me being single.

— Heidi Selover (@happilyheidi) March 28, 2014

You can tell when someone you used to date wants to give it another shot when they start liking your Facebook posts again

— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) March 27, 2014

I haven't had sex in awhile, by choice. Their choice.

— sallybrooks (@sbrooks13) March 23, 2014

Just saw a disgusting Trojan ad where a couple was about to have sex first thing in the morning without brushing their teeth.

— Ari Scott (@ariscott) March 24, 2014

You say one night stand, I say I'm changing my facebook status to "In a Relationship" with you and friend requesting your mom.

— Tricia (@Im_Tricia) March 22, 2014

I want Drake and Taylor Swift to date because I want to hear how intense those break up songs will be

— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) March 22, 2014