Funny Tweets by Women February 2014

Your day is about to get a helluva lot better. . . . It's time for Tweets Girls Say. Give your weekend a dose of funny from our favorite women on Twitter. This week, we've got an eligible bachelor on Tinder, how to know when a relationship is over, and a CVS parking lot proposal. Check 'em out now, and for even more funny, follow us on Twitter!

ladies? pic.twitter.com/lIQiICOgvd

— Sputnik Sweetheart (@Verlieren) February 28, 2014

Wearing my man-gettin' bra.

— Lori (@HeyitsLori) February 26, 2014

Like 3 homeless men have proposed to me in the CVS parking lot, so no sorry I'm not impressed with your engagement.

— Tricia (@Im_Tricia) February 26, 2014

Gonna start dating again. This guy on Match, SleepApnea42069, has been so sweet and complimentary. I deserve to be happy, y'know?

— Gretchen (@gentilecoont) February 24, 2014

Missed Connection: You saw me suck ranch dressing out of my hair after I fell victim to a poorly wrapped McDonald's crispy snack wrap.

— Mandi Harris (@MandiHarris) February 22, 2014

only on okcupid to find the perfect guy for a murder suicide

— erin (@home_napping) February 27, 2014

I'm writing an article about anal sex but so far I'm just plagiarizing A Tale Of Two Cities.

— Stephanie Mickus (@smickable) February 25, 2014

I think I might want to have sex with the husband tonight so I've made it super clear to him that it's the last thing I want to do

— Kim (@Kim_pulsive) February 26, 2014

I don't have casual sex anymore bc I either get grossed out or fall in love but I wish I could be like hey you wanna fuck boom ok who's next

— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) February 27, 2014

I can't wait to be one of those girls who loses their identity once they start dating.

— jacqueline carbajal (@jackiecarbajal) February 23, 2014

You know the relationship is starting to sour when the I gets dropped from "I love you."

— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) February 25, 2014

Sext: I'm at the DMV and I'm not wearing any make up

— sallybrooks (@sbrooks13) February 28, 2014

Just once, I'd like to open up a hotel "Intimacy Kit" and find one long piece of spaghetti.

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) February 27, 2014