Funny Tweets About Sex March 2014

Forget trendy health crazes; swish around a mouthful of this week's Tweets Girls Say for an LOL-filled weekend. The ladies of Twitter took to the social site to share sex moves, talk Bachelor, discuss ex-lovers, and fantasize about Matthew McConaughey. Check 'em out now, and for even more funny, follow us on Twitter!

dating in your mid 20s after dating in college is a really fun game of "IS HE NOT INTERESTED OR IS HE JUST A GROWN UP WITH A LIFE AND A JOB"

— Sputnik Sweetheart (@Verlieren) March 6, 2014

My mom says I'll never meet a man if I keep celebrating National Pancake Day.

— jacqueline carbajal (@jackiecarbajal) March 4, 2014

When you're dating someone they ask you about your favorite pizza. Unless you're dating JP because then you don't eat pizza #WTA #bachelor

— Dana Weiss (@Possessionista) March 4, 2014

I do this new sex move where I tie a guy up in the bedroom and watch a movie by myself in the living room

— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) March 5, 2014

Yes I get email from Pottermore dot com. Yes I'm a member of Hufflepuff. Yes it's been quite some time since I've had the sex.

— Lori (@HeyitsLori) March 6, 2014

Sex is when two adults work together to solve a riddle.

— Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) March 7, 2014

"This isn't the one who pooped in plastic bags. This is the one who took up clownery." -Me showing my coworkers pictures of my ex-lovers.

— Mandi Harris (@MandiHarris) March 7, 2014

Nothing would turn me on more than watching Matthew McConaughey do my laundry.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) March 6, 2014

I'm already married, I shouldn't have to give up anything else for Lent.

— bubble girl (@JessObsess) March 5, 2014