Funny Tweets About Online Dating

Remember the days when the person you were dating would actually call you? And maybe be honest about his or her feelings? Now it seems you can't talk about dating without referencing the Internet, sexting, or the occasional emoji gone wrong. Leave it to the funniest women on Twitter to break down all of today's dating woes in our latest installment of 2013's best Tweets Girls Say. Check 'em all out below!

Answer a girl's text in under 5 seconds and you're a stalker; in over 10 seconds, you're an asshole who doesn't give a shit about her heart.

— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) August 6, 2013

been there. RT @arifish: Takes an assload of Benadryl and adds casual sex to okcupid profile. Wakes up to fifty emails. What?

— audrey (@fennpgh) May 23, 2013

Dating Tip: Post gross pictures of yourself on dating sites so when you do meet someone you already exceed their expectations

— sallybrooks (@sbrooks13) November 18, 2013

accidentally sending ;) instead of :) and feeling like you’ve just offered them your body

— 50 Shades of Awkward (@OhWowThatsAwk) September 9, 2013

I'd buy a bra that locked you our after three unsuccessful login attempts.

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) November 17, 2013

I don’t really sext as much as I just text Lil Kim lyrics to guys and hope they don’t notice.

— Tricia (@Im_Tricia) September 17, 2013

An okcupid prereq could be "Are you smarter than this pocket lint?"

— Merryanna (@WritingInBed) June 18, 2013

Is there an online dating site for reasonably attractive redheads who just want to date handsome British men who like history and Dune?

— Meghan O'Keefe (@megsokay) July 16, 2013

Keep reading for more funnies!

http://t.co/92ftU9C9DU: "The longer you stay, the less you pay!"* *offer not valid on actual relationships

— Megan Ganz (@meganganz) August 6, 2013

Running away at the first sign of unreciprocated feelings is my only cardio.

— Tricia (@Im_Tricia) July 31, 2013

Adding "Mom to an adorable hamster!" to my dating profile so guys will know I'm whimsical and not scary crazy at all.

— Lori (@HeyitsLori) August 18, 2013

Wonder if the guy I'm goin on a first date with will mind if instead of going to dinner we go pick up some furniture I bought off Craigslist

— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) October 22, 2013

Decided to delete all the fluff on my dating profile and just write "Hey, you could do a lot worse."

— Lori (@HeyitsLori) September 1, 2013

what happens when you send a girl a dick pic pic.twitter.com/eX9GDP7P35

— Sputnik Sweetheart (@Verlieren) October 3, 2013

Having good text chemistry is just as important as having good sexual chemistry.

— Tricia (@Im_Tricia) October 3, 2013

Hanging up MISSING PERSON signs for every guy who never responded to my texts.

— jacqueline carbajal (@jackiecarbajal) October 22, 2013

Yes this date is going swimmingly that's why I peeled off all my nailpolish and took a Xanax and wrote a long email to my Mom during dinner.

— Bez (@Bez) October 20, 2013

i hate to see girls dating poor dudes like they learned nothing from titanic

— victoria (@theblowout) October 25, 2013

I'd rather date a guy with 40 stds than a guy who doesn't watch TV.

— Tricia (@Im_Tricia) October 17, 2013

"I think this date is going well..." I reassuringly say to the couple across from me.

— jacqueline carbajal (@jackiecarbajal) September 14, 2013

All my How About We suggested dates are guys creatively suggesting things we can do that can get them laid without spending time or money.

— Meghan O'Keefe (@megsokay) September 17, 2013

Dating is collecting information about someone until you realize you don't like them

— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) September 17, 2013

All I want is a guy who can figure out how to leave me alone while giving me all of his attention simultaneously

— Shira (@shiraselko) August 8, 2013

Whenever I'm not attracted to a guy I tell him he's "too nice," because I know how much guys like to believe that's why they're single.

— Tricia (@Im_Tricia) August 29, 2013