Confused by Long-Distance Crush

by Tara Block 0

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our Community. Add your advice in the comments!

This is basically what happened: I had been best friends with this guy in high school. I am 21 now and he's 20. In high school he used to tell that he was in love with me and then he decided to join the Air Force because "there was nothing left for him in his home town anymore" after I moved to Philadelphia for college.

To be honest, there was nothing going on between us. We'd have a couple dates while we were in high school, but nothing would happen from there. After he joined the Air Force, I didn't see him for 2 years.

One day he came home for Germany (he's stationed there) and we decided to hang out. As I said, we hadn't seen each other for 2 years and we really haven't spoken to each other either. Well, that night I spilled out to him about how much I loved him and that I loved him while we were in high school. We had sex that night and then the following day, he stopped talking to me. Since he was doing that, I left him alone and he didn't talk to me for 3 months.

Finally, he wrote to me and told me that he wanted me to come to Germany because he needed to tell me something. Unfortunately, I am not able to go to Germany until August because of school. He told me that would not work because he's getting deployed to Saudi Arabia. I also told him that I am moving to graduate school in Portland, Oregon in September and that if he ever comes home that I'll try to make it out to see him. When I told him that he told me that he was not going to go back to his home town to visit because "there was nothing left for him there." That's the second time he told me that. Now he's not talking to me again.

Quite honestly, I don't know what to do with him. I have no idea what's going on with him and I have no idea why he's saying things like "there is nothing left for me there" when his family is still in his home town. He hasn't told me that he cares about me or that he's reciprocating anything. I really have no idea how to respond to him.

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