Why Women Love Guys With Beards

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, HowAboutWe. Let's face it, beards can be magical! Read these insightful reasons as to why the ladies go crazy for guys with beards.

Do you love beards? Have you ever felt your jaw swing open like a surprised, turned-on snake at the sight of a particularly fine face pelt? Have you ever cracked your skull open on a coffee table in a dead faint after having been exposed to Jon Hamm's gorgeous chin warmer? I’m doing that shit like all the time! Since it’s a very, very, very important topic to me, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to why I love dudes with beards so much. These are my insights.

Beards are a visual reminder you are not accidentally sleeping with a child, and who doesn’t like that?

Look, some of a bearded man’s appeal is rooted in biology, but I’m not going to pretend it’s some kind of all-consuming Truth. Why are you and I so attracted to beards while other people could go either way? Why anything? Why chair? Why lamp? On the other hand, there’s a reason Justin Bieber has a smooth, hairless mug. The Bieb’s demo audience is young girls who are more inclined to swoon over boys who look like the hairless, baby-faced kids they crush on in real life than, say, Joe Mangianello sporting a salt-and-pepper lumberjack look. As a grown-ass 29-year-old woman, a man’s beard says to me, “I have fully completed puberty, and as such am prepared to breed.” This message is implicit, of course, because guys can’t be walking around saying it out loud on, say, a first date or at your coworker’s birthday party. It would be gauche. It just isn’t done.

A man who cares for his beard, cares in general.

A well-groomed jaw muff is sort of like a really nice suit or an adorable dog. A guy with any or all of these things can point to them and say, “See, this isn’t all scraggly and messed-up. I can take care of things!” Additionally, beyond the time and attention it takes to actually maintain one’s facial landscape, a healthy groomed beard conveys a basic message of bodily health that, for me, travels directly through my lizard-like brain stem and down into my persqueeter. I can only assume this goes back to when early humans were constantly dealing with parasites and insects and worms all the time. Some part of our brains still look at beards and think, “Hmmm, his body hair isn’t crawling with mites or affected by any sort of visible lesions. That’s pretty hot!” Of course, you always run the very small risk of admiring someone’s delightful beard, only to later find yourself confronted by open lesions or bug-infested pubic hair. But hey, no one ever said the road to romance was easy. Or not covered in open lesions.

For more reasons, head to HowAboutWe: All the Reasons Why You Should Love Guys With Beards

Check out more great stories from HowAboutWe:

• Why Women Look More Like “Girlfriend Material” in the Fall
• 10 Things That Are Attractive About Girls and Guys With Glasses
• 6 Reasons Bald Men Are Better Boyfriends