virginity

Video

4 Reasons Why The Purity Myth Piques Our Interest

Feminist blogger Jessica Valenti's documentary The Purity Myth is available on DVD, and the flick exploring the virginity movement is on our must-see list.

Feminist blogger Jessica Valenti's documentary The Purity Myth is available on DVD, and the flick exploring the virginity movement is on our must-see list. The film is adapted from Jessica's best-selling book of the same name, The Purity Myth, that looks into our country's obsession with virginity and how women are defined by their sexuality. Watch the trailer above to learn about the movie, and let us know in the comments what you think. Here's why we can't wait to see the documentary:

  • Feministing cofounder, author, and "poster girl for third-wave feminism" Jessica Valenti is behind it. Jessica is funny, frank, and smart, and she's already proven with her book that this is an important and interesting topic — we can't wait to see it come to life.
  • It explores the whole cultural phenomenon of virginity with clips from TV shows, celebrities, and movies. It's about recognizing how we're fed the information that puts purity and virginity on a pedestal, and the bigger issue, which is why women are valued based on their sexuality.
  • We get a behind-the-scenes look into the religious supporters of the virginity movement and the often-creepy purity balls. We can't help but be appalled and interested in why these people believe what they believe.
  • We see the reality of how this virginity movement affects politics. It's important to be reminded that this isn't just crazy people being crazy. The idea that women are defined by whether or not they have sex is serious, and if we don't take action there are serious political implications that will affect our rights as women.
Advice

Group Therapy: I Feel Like I'm Missing Out Not Having Sex

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I feel left out because I've never had a (real) sexual experience with a guy. I'm not old, but I'm not young given today's standards for losing your virginity. I'm still in school, but not for long.

I kind of feel like a loser of sorts. I'm surrounded by lovely people and friends but sometimes I see/hear them talking about sexual things (it can be anywhere from their birth control routine to something actually explicit) and I feel left out. I especially feel hopeless because there are no prospects on the horizon, so I may be left feeling like this for a while, and it makes me really sore at the heart. I feel as though I'm nothing that special so no one will ever pursue me or want me.

I'm not embarrassed to say that I know what the big O is like because I have my handy little fingers, but I know it's not the same if it's not with someone you love. My virginity, is just this large gray cloud looming over my life.

I keep praying to meet someone (sometimes I feel as though something will catch with a guy, then something ends up going sour) but it's getting tiring and a little pathetic. My mom even prays for me haha . . . sad.

Anyway yeah. I just feel unwomanly and disgusting kind of. I don't know.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Link Time

Link Time — Stars Talk Virginity

Sex

Parents Group Upset Over Teen Sex in Glee Tonight

The show hasn't even aired yet, and the Parents Television Council is already angry about the teen sex in Glee's episode tonight titled "The First Time."

The show hasn't even aired yet, and the Parents Television Council is already angry about the teen sex in Glee's episode tonight titled "The First Time." Two McKinley High couples — one straight and one same-sex — will be getting it on tonight, and the parents group isn't happy about it. While it would appear to be the gay teen sex PTC is targeting, the group's president Tim Winter says it's really about the age and audience.

"The fact that Glee intends to not only broadcast, but celebrate children having sex is reprehensible. The gender of the high school characters involved is irrelevant. Teen sex is now more prevalent on TV than adult sex and Glee is only playing into that trend. Research proves that television is a teen sexual super peer that can, and likely will, influence a teen's decision to become sexually active. Fox knows the show inherently attracts kids; celebrating teen sex constitutes gross recklessness."

While Glee is set in high school, I wouldn't call it a kids show, and it has been frank about sex since day one. The first season revolved around Quinn's teen pregnancy after all. And where was the PTC outrage when "The Power of Madonna" episode aired, which was all about getting in touch with your sexual side and losing your virginity, and featured various couples rolling around in bed? Instead, the PTC called out the Britney Spears episode for featuring a "troubled pop star" as a role model and, of course, that pervy Glee GQ photo shoot.

I can't find the rhyme or reason to what ruffles the parents group's feathers, but do you think something as common as teen sex on TV is really the issue? Is the gay teen sex the real root of the controversy? And do you think the Glee creators have a responsibility to keep the show kid friendly? Tells us what you think in the comments.

Advice

Group Therapy: Dating Advice For a Male Virgin?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!


So I am 22 years old. I'm a virgin. I'm clean-cut, of average/ semi-athletic build, I'm honest and respectable, trustworthy. I'm no prince charming in the looks department, but I'm not unattractive. I'm a good person from a good family. I was raised not extremely religious, but brought up with I guess what would be considered good morals. I grew up being told to wait until marriage until having sex.

Granted I am a bit of a pervert, but I had never done anything. Up until a few years ago, I kept that moral or standard or whatever you want to call it. Then I dated a girl I had known and liked for years. We were together for a while when sex started to come up in conversation etc. Of course I said no, and it didn't seem to affect the relationship any. After some time, I started to give in a little as she kept pushing for it. Most of it was just messing around really, nothing serious. We aren't together anymore for more reasons than I care to name, but since then I had started to question my beliefs on sex. It's reached the point now where I am not sure what to think anymore.

I am dating a girl now who is not a virgin like I am. Things have started to move towards sex, but I don't know what to do or think about it. I know it will ultimately be up to me, but I'm a little lost at the moment. I'm not sure if I should wait until marriage anymore. I used to believe that was the best thing, but it seems more people out there prefer to be with someone who is or has been somewhat sexually active at some point in their lives. I've had so many relationships go sour as things started to go where this one is heading, be it from me saying no and or the fact that I am a virgin coming up. Needless to say, I don't want this relationship to end. But not knowing what to think anymore has made me become a bit...awkward...when things start to get heated. (40 Year Old Virgin, I feel your pain.)

I feel like I'm just dragging this out . . . so a few questions . . . Is it best to wait until marriage? Are women turned off by a guy who is a virgin? . . . What's the best thing to do in my situation?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Video

Anna Faris on How to Keep Your Daughter a Virgin

Anna Faris may play a promiscuous young woman in her upcoming film What's Your Number?

Anna Faris may play a promiscuous young woman in her upcoming film What's Your Number? and have a Playboy bunny character in her past, but back when she was a teenager her roles weren't so sexy. Anna told David Letterman last night that as a chubby teen she was cast in a frozen yogurt commercial, and it was just one of the ways her parents insured she didn't lose her virginity until she was older. Find out how you, too, can keep your children from having sex now!

I've Been Lying About My Virginity
community

Sunday Confessional: I've Been Lying About My Virginity

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community.

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

I have lied to every single one of my friends who has ever asked me about being a virgin. I always say that I am not a virgin, because the people that I interact with on a daily basis talk trash/make fun of virgins (I'm on a sports team). I know that this is something someone should not be ashamed of, but I'm 21 and can't handle listening to all of their sex stories knowing that they think I understand what they are talking about and can contribute to the conversation. I've had boyfriends, but we never got to the level of sex. Now my dilemma is that I'm almost out of college and can't bear the fact that I could finish college and enter the real dating world as a virgin. My constant internal debate is deciding whether I should wait for a great guy (who I won't find in college, all the guys here are pricks), or just give it up to the next one that asks to take me home after a late night at the bars.

There's lots of cool stuff going on in our community — join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups, and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

community

Group Therapy: I'm 19 and Still a Virgin

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I'm not rushing to have sex or anything, but I keep getting backlash from my peers about my virginity . . . like they keep making fun of me because they've all had sex. I want to know how do I deal with these issues and make them understand I'm saving myself until marriage!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Advice

"I'm a 40-Year-Old Virgin"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

I grew up in a very conservative environment. The first time I left my home town was 2 years ago. I believe in sex after marriage but now kinda being more open about it. However every time I meet a guy and we start talking about getting intimate I make sure that I tell him that I'm a virgin and ready for sex but somehow this piece of news is kind of a turn off to them. They eventually lose interest and never go on to have sex with me. I think it means to them that I am "stupid." Even when I went to 2 doctors for issues in my breast they were kind of a bit sarcastic about my virginity and said things like "what are you waiting for" with a smirk or "you don't want to die a virgin" and a laugh. I am feeling offended and I feel like I missed out on life. What I believed was right for a long time somehow the world is telling that it was silly. I don't know how to cope with this and I'm very embarrassed to tell anyone anymore.

Link Time

Link Time — Lose Your Virginity in 9 Steps