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My boyfriend is hyperobservant about what is going on around him in social situations. He is extraordinarily intuitive, but it goes beyond this. If we drive by someone jogging, he will notice what they are wearing down to the color and make of their sneakers. If we are out to dinner, he will analyze the dynamic and conversation of almost everyone else in the room. We all have our quirks, and I want to love someone as they truly are, not who I want them to be, so this was never something I gave all that much thought to.

Last weekend, we were out to dinner, having a lovely time, and started chatting about a funny thing that had happened at a table next to us. We'd had a bit of wine, and he started mentioning all the things he noticed around the room down to the number of times I had refilled my water glass that evening! (Six, for the record. I was dehydrated.) I was sort of stunned. I always knew he did this, but I never realized the extent to which it happened, and he had never explained it to me in quite the same way, like his mind is spinning a million miles a minute at all times, and he constructs a dialogue in his head based on how he interprets something, almost like he is reading a script. For example, if I say something to him in some tone, "Suuuure," he'll, in his head, think, "'Suuuure,' M said sarcastically." I suddenly felt very self-conscious and slightly defensive, like everything I said or did was going to be overanalyzed in his mind. I tried to really listen to him and be there for him. He expressed how embarrassed he was about this and how he never really told anyone what he had just told me.

He asked me what I thought, and I said it made some things make sense to me — he loves sex (who doesn't, of course . . . but he really loves sex) because it's one of the few times his mind is just at ease. He enjoys smoking weed for the same reason. I told him I loved him (I do!), and we talked about how maybe ADD was a part of this, etc. I was also honest with him (and maybe this was the wrong time to bring it up?) that, at times, I do get confused and frustrated because he will seem very distant. When I'm at dinner or spending time alone with him, 99 percent of the time I am focused just on him, and it can hurt to feel like that's not reciprocated. When I can see that he's somewhere else in his mind, it makes me worry if something is wrong — that I've done something to push him away. Is he losing his feelings for me? And then when I realize he's just curious as to what's going on at the table behind us, it makes me feel not good enough — like why is that so much more interesting than what I have to say?

I really value our time together and spending that time, having conversations, even if it's just about stupid things, really means a lot to me. I know it does to him, too, but I feel like we have less of that when he is focused on so many other things, and it's frustrating and hurtful to me. I recognize that part of this is just me being less sensitive or worrying that everything has to do with me — I am definitely working on that. But I am otherwise at a bit of a loss as to how to talk to my boyfriend about this, how to support him and be there for him, while also making sure my needs in the relationship are met. Has anyone experienced or heard of this type of thing before? I'd be so grateful for any advice. Thank you!

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My ex and I broke it off eight or seven months ago, our relationship was that of best friends that eventually went out. I was happiest and so was he in those times. We both got overwhelmed in the relationship and we both called it quits in the best way, but we were both very sad. Then, after not seeing him for months, I saw him and I wanted to talk to him since I was just so happy to see him, but he was mad/angry to see that I had moved on so quick. (At the time I hadn't, I'm just a really a positive person.) I didn't get to talk to him because his friend told me not to and that he didn't want to be around me and he doesn't know why, so I made sure to stay out of his way from then on. Even though I recently saw him and he saw me by chance and we smiled at each other as we passed each other. So here I am six more months later, and I was at a table studying at the university we go to and I saw him from the corner of my eye coming toward me and once he saw me, he stopped dead in his tracks and walked the other way . . . I just don't understand him. He and I have mutual, close friends and I even separated myself from them to give him space, but it still seems that I annoy him no matter what I do. Help?

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I'm a member of a dating site. The way this dating site matches people is by their answers to public questions relating to sex, morals, religion, etc. In one of the prompted questions, I truthfully answered that I was a virgin and really never gave it much thought thereafter.

Last night I was chatting with a potential suitor, and I was playfully and jokingly saying that I don't really get a lot of bites from the men I truly want to date. First the conversation veered to the fact that it's because I'm "extremely attractive" (his words, not mine) and not a lot of men will message me or message me back because of the intimidation factor (which I thought would dissolve over the internet, but guess not).

Then the conversation veered to the fact that I'm a virgin, and this perfectly lovely guy stated that even though it's not his opinion, a lot of other men steer clear of virgins because they don't want to "teach us" and because we appear pious and religious. The latter is not true, by the way. Another guy pal told me that guys are confused that an attractive girl could ever be a virgin, and that since I'm such a baffling enigma, I am kept at arms length.

Anyway, now I'm thinking: should I delete my answer to that question? My thinking was that if men were so turned off by a virgin, my answer to that question would act as a filter — getting rid of the guys who have no interest in being with me because of something as silly as virginity. I rationalized that it's better that they never approach me (I guess), than date them, tell them I'm a virgin somewhere along the line, and then watch them disappear. In the latter scenario, I will have wasted my time and effort.

What do you think? In some way, I feel like deleting it would be to shame myself ("Ha, I'm 21 and still a virgin, what a loser. Let me hide this information away, far, far away!") But on the other hand, I can see how it can be TMI.

So delete or not to delete?
Thanks!

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This might be a bit of a rambling post, but I've been feeling really down on myself lately and I think I need some encouraging words and/or a kick in the butt from some helpful strangers. I've always been very confident in myself and my abilities; my relationships are another issue. I've had two serious relationships — one in high school, and one that covered my last half of grade 12 and my first semester of university. That relationship ended nearly 2 years ago, and I've been single since. I've gone on first dates here and there, and hooked up with a few guys, but nothing has stuck. I feel like I have very few opportunities to meet guys. I work 12 hour days, go to bed by 9 pm on weekdays or else I'm a zombie the next morning, and am usually so wiped by the weekends I don't want to go out. I work two jobs and all my coworkers are female. I also do volunteer work that I'm incredibly passionate about, but the vast majority of males volunteering through the organization are gay. I've made friends, but my work/volunteer situations are not conducive to potential new relationships!

I feel like I'm getting out there the best I can, but just can't meet anyone who's right for me. I've started considering online dating, and even chatted with a few guys online, but I'm so young (20) and feel like I shouldn't have to resort to that. I realize that since I'm young, maybe this is my time to enjoy being single. And I do, a lot of the time — I like having freedom and little emotional stress, I like that I can hook up with guys and flirt with whomever I want. Contributing to all these negative feelings is the fact that I'm in the beginning stages of a NSA (no strings attached) situation with a guy that I'm already getting a bad feeling about. I don't want to date him and I'm realizing at this point I'm too vulnerable to handle something like this; while I've previously had no-strings sex work out well, at this point it feels like I'm just jumping at the promise of intimacy and affection, and I get those from him sporadically at best. My gut is telling me I should not see him again, especially since I feel horrible when we go a while without speaking, but those random nights we spend together are pretty great. My brain knows it's a bad idea but my heart realizes how lonely I feel and how nice it is to sleep with someone else in the bed.

I realize this is kind of all over the place and probably pretty sad sounding, but I just feel like I have no idea how to find someone who can be a good partner for me. In just the past few months, I feel like I've reached my breaking point and have started to really acknowledge how lonely I am. So, here I am, reaching out. Any advice, suggestions . . . whatever. Things can't get any worse so I might as well try to make 'em better.

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OK, so let me start off by saying this has NOTHING to do with my boyfriend. He is a wonderful man and I am extremely happy.

The problem is where and who he is living with. He lived with his friend of many years, and the friend's wife. There are numerous problems with this living arrangement:

1. They are married. They have asked him to move out but "no pressure" for a few months now.
2. They have cats that meow ALL FREAKING NIGHT and I sleep very lightly.
3. The AC is broken. We live in Miami. Enough said.
4. They uninvited me to their wedding. It's not because of anything that happened, but apparently they only invited their friends, not their friends' husbands/wives/BFs or GFs. I thought that I was their friend, too. Apparently not.

This stuff has been getting worse for the past few months. He cannot stay over at my place because I live with my mom, and she's old fashioned. He has said he's going to move into a new place, he is "just lazy." My problem is that as much as I love sleeping with him and being with him and obviously having sex with him, I am really really uncomfortable being there. It's uncomfortable to sleep there, and just hanging out there is physically uncomfortable for me. I just go there because I don't want to be at my mom's house all the time (I can't move out and leave her alone, my dad passed away a short time ago and she would be devastated being alone) so my BF is basically my escape.

I usually sleep there Wednesday nights (he is right next to my grad school and I don't get out till late) and Saturday nights . . . but it's getting really bad and I just don't want to stay there anymore. I've tried talking to him and he just keeps saying, "I know you're right, I should move," but I still keep staying there because I love him. Even though it's torture for me. Should I just stop staying there so maybe he will get the hint at how bad it is? I can't even sleep through the night because of the meowing, and the heat, and the evil eyes I am getting from the married couple.

Thanks!

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I met this guy at my roommate Alice's party. We flirted, chatted back and forth, and it was cute. He said he had to leave, so I gave him a hug, and he walked out of my apartment. Literally 30 seconds later, he came back inside and asked me to walk him downstairs to where he'd parked his motorbike. We walked and talked a little more, and he offered me a ride around the block on his bike — which I took, holding him a little tighter than normal. Afterward, he dropped me off at my apartment and asked me for my number, then kissed me on the cheek.

The next day, my other roommate, Becca, told me that Alice had been super into this guy. So I decided to send him a text, saying that I thought he was great, but a friend of mine was really into him so it wouldn't be right to see him again. He was OK with it, but said that he'd still like to see me again.

In the meantime, Alice and I talked, and she told me that she was over this guy, that she thought he'd be perfect for me, and then gave me the go-ahead. I texted him back, we flirted back and forth, and he asked if he could take me out on a date. I kind of hesitated because I still wasn't 100 percent sure that I wanted to go on a date with my best friend's old crush, even if she said she was cool with it. I told him he could take me on another motorbike ride and we'd go from there. He said deal, and that was that.

Three days later, I hadn't heard from him, so I shot him a text just saying hi and he almost immediately, within two texts, asked me if I'm busy tomorrow. I replied saying that I haven't got plans yet and then I didn't hear anything from him at all. Tonight I got a text from him, saying that he's sorry about the cliff-hanger and that he's been under the weather with a cold for a few days. I tried to be kind but a little aloof, just saying, "Aw, take care of yourself," and he said thanks and that he wanted to take me out to dinner to a restaurant he'd been dying to go to, but that he probably wouldn't be good company because he's sick.

I wanted to give him an out, because I felt like he was trying to apologize for leaving me hanging while simultaneously making an excuse to not see me again. So I replied that I had plans later Friday night (true), and if he's sick, it's probably better that we postpone anyway. I ended it by saying that if he felt up to it, I'd definitely be up for that ride and left it at that.

I would love to see this guy again. We had good chemistry, the conversation was easy, and he seemed like he was really interested in me. At one point, he told me that he felt instantly attracted to me, although in hindsight, it was probably just a pickup line. I wish I could believe that he wants to see me, that he's not just making excuses, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I feel embarrassed for being so excited about him when he doesn't seem to feel the same. My ego is a little bruised. What do you think?

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This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

In every other relationship I've ever been in, I've never been bothered by "other women." I've always felt extremely confident in myself, my attitude, and my looks. I was never the jealous type or the kind of woman who was constantly comparing herself to others. I just wasn't like that. That is, until I became involved with my current boyfriend.

We've been together for approximately a year, and I rarely see my friends anymore. I don't go out much because I'm always spending time at home with him. At first, he never made it apparent or obvious when he thought another girl was attractive. His attention was always on me. I know it would be normal if he did, but he never used to watch porn or have "hot girl" magazines around, but lately everything's changed. I find he's been watching porn on the laptop, and usually I would never care. Then he started buying all sorts of magazines, ones full of beautiful, voluptuous women. In front of me, he's even said to his friend: "Check out the chicks in here!"

Like I said, I'm not used to feeling jealous and insecure over petty magazines and some porn, but it makes me so sad and angry and frustrated with myself. I've started to question if he's even attracted to me anymore. I mean, the women in these magazines have the exact opposite of my body type. I'm 5'4", thin, and 100 pounds. I have A-cup breasts, but I have a nice full bum that I love and long legs. I've never questioned myself in this way before and I don't understand why it's happening with him.

We also don't have sex as much anymore and I don't know why. I'm always down, but he seems to make excuses. Why does he make me feel more insecure than ever before? Maybe if the women in these pictures resembled my body type in some way, I'd feel better, but instead, I wonder: am I not what he's into? Am I not his type?

Tonight, when I came home, he was on YouTube searching "boob slip" and "nipple slips" and I was totally weirded out. First of all, who searches that? And second, I feel like he'd rather look at other women's breasts than at mine. I explained how I'm feeling and told him that I thought he was being really insensitive — I even brought up the magazines, but he says I'm overreacting. He said that guys don't have one single type, which is understandable, but why does he have to be so stunned about how he's hurting my feelings? I hate how he leaves those magazines just lying around everywhere. Am I being crazy and hormonal and insecure, or do I have a reason to be upset? How can I overcome this crazy jealousy?

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Admittedly, I don't have a lot of guy friends. I'm not really sure of normal guy behavior unless they are trying to date me. I've been talking to an ex for a few months now and I don't think either of us are really sure what's going on between us, but we are both going with it. We've never had a talk about what's happening, but I'm a big fan of labels and boundaries and until we have that talk, we are strictly friends. We generally have really fun, flirty conversations that last for hours, and we hang out every once in a while. We are both pretty open people sexually and have a similarly dirty sense of humor, so sometimes we'll touch on our sex lives, but we don't mention anything too deep or intimate.

Last night he was very drunk and started texting me. We were having a normal, banter-filled conversation about politics that suddenly turned into a conversation about a girl he had sex with one time 10 years ago. He started going into vivid detail. It was not a general thing. He was giving me the total play by play. I interjected and asked him to slow down on the details and made a joke that we aren't that close of friends to be sharing all that. That just egged him on and he kept going further and further, so I got a little more straight up about it and told him he was making me uncomfortable. He acted like I was crazy. I told him there are three types of people I'm comfortable hearing that much detail from: a guy I'm sleeping with, a guy I want to sleep with, or my best girl friends.

Turns out, he may have been a bit upset about a story I told him last week about a crazy guy I was kind of seeing. Sex was mentioned during my story, but it was just a small part of a bigger story — definitely not the focus and there were no details mentioned. But his text read "You can talk about a guy you slept with LAST WEEK but I can't talk about 10 years ago?!?!?"

The conversation ended on an okay note and we both said good night to each other, so I don't think either of us are really angry about it. Still, I'm wondering if I overreacted? Is this normal guy behavior towards a female friend, or am I right in thinking it's a little inappropriate? I feel a little disrespected that he thinks I'm a girl that he can talk to like that just because we've been chatting for a few months. That level of intimate conversation actually requires some intimacy in my opinion. Am I being a diva here?

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So my best friend and I share the same guy friend. He and I had our differences in which we haven't spoken for years, but so did my best friend and him. Now we're all on talking terms. He already has a girlfriend he is planning on marrying. The thing is — why does he seem to treat my best friend better than me? He makes an effort to meet her whereas with me, even though he came all the way to my campus, he made no effort. On chat, we speak quite frequently but he replies to my best friend instantaneously on WhatsApp but doesn't even read my messages on BBM until at least an hour later. Am I missing something? I am about as good a friend to him as she is to him so I don't understand why he'd treat me differently, like he's not even interested in talking to me. None of my guy friends have ever been that rude in terms of reading my texts when it suits them. This has really depressed me to the point where I struggle to even function normally at times.

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I feel very young and naive for asking this question, but I wanted to hear other peoples' experiences and opinions. I've recently met someone to whom I was very physically and sexually attracted. You know, the blushing, just-thinking-about-him, making-me-feel-like-a-school-girl-with-a-crush type of attraction, and it's kind of an awesome feeling, especially when it's reciprocated.

I've dated some really good, sweet guys that I've had a lot in common with and loved very much at the time, but I very rarely feel that intense physical attraction. The relationships were still good, and I'm sure passion, even in relationships with that type of intense affection, does fade slightly but I can't help but wonder if I'm missing out.

When this does happen — on occasion — it's usually honestly with a guy who, once I get to know, is not exactly someone I want to date. He's flaky, noncommittal, etc.

So, does it happen? Is this my fault for having weirdly specific physical attraction needs? I'd love to date someone I felt that strongly about physically, but it just doesn't seem to happen.

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