Overly-Sensitive Friends

March 14, 2008

The other night I was listening to a friend describe an argument that she’d had with a mutual friend of ours. She just couldn’t quite pinpoint what she had done wrong. She described the scenario and asked for my input because she genuinely felt terrible and didn’t know why her friend had such hurt feelings. We quickly realized that our friend is just plain old sensitive. Now, I absolutely adore my friends, imperfections and all, but dealing with an overly-sensitive friend takes a bit of finesse that’s sometimes hard to perfect. So ladies, have you ever had one? If so, do you have to approach her differently?

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25 Comments

kaenai 5 years 7 weeks

I'm gonna play devil's advocate here, and ask whether you've considered that being 'sensitive' is completely objective (unless you're like Asia's friend who bursts into tears at random signs of injustice, like starving pigeons or potholes or something like that), and that maybe your friend knew what would push the girl's buttons, and was actually being insensitive? Just a thought. Anyway, as for people being overly sensitive, I don't have much patience for that, either. There's a point at which everyone eventually learns that not every little thing someone says is directed at them, and that no one is serving cake at their little pity parties. Hopefully your friend learns this sooner rather than later.

kaenai 5 years 7 weeks

I'm gonna play devil's advocate here, and ask whether you've considered that being 'sensitive' is completely objective (unless you're like Asia's friend who bursts into tears at random signs of injustice, like starving pigeons or potholes or something like that), and that maybe your friend knew what would push the girl's buttons, and was actually being insensitive?Just a thought.Anyway, as for people being overly sensitive, I don't have much patience for that, either. There's a point at which everyone eventually learns that not every little thing someone says is directed at them, and that no one is serving cake at their little pity parties. Hopefully your friend learns this sooner rather than later.

GlowingMoon 5 years 7 weeks

In the past, I had a couple of friends like that. Because of that, our friendships didn't last. They were insecure and took matters very personally when they weren't personal at all. Also, I found that they used their over-sensitivity to manipulate others, getting people to baby them. That was unacceptable to me. But in fairness, I think I was like that when I was younger. But thankfully, I grew out of it.

GlowingMoon 5 years 7 weeks

In the past, I had a couple of friends like that. Because of that, our friendships didn't last. They were insecure and took matters very personally when they weren't personal at all. Also, I found that they used their over-sensitivity to manipulate others, getting people to baby them. That was unacceptable to me.But in fairness, I think I was like that when I was younger. But thankfully, I grew out of it.

mandy_frost 5 years 7 weeks

I'd say my most overly sensitive friend is MALE.

emalove 5 years 7 weeks

In my little group of friends, none of us is overly sensitive. If anything, I'm probably the closest thing to that. They're definitely NOT overly sensitive at all. One of them is quite outspoken and brash...she says the things that we all think but no one else has the balls to say out loud. The other three are just "normal", I suppose. We are all very sarcastic and joke around a lot...none of us take things personally or get offended very often.

popgoestheworld 5 years 7 weeks

I work with someone like this, and it can be frustrating at times. But she's a good person with a good heart so I do my best.

popgoestheworld 5 years 7 weeks

I work with someone like this, and it can be frustrating at times. But she's a good person with a good heart so I do my best.

almost famous 5 years 7 weeks

I can be a bit overly sensitive at times, (thanks dad), but there's a respect thing too.

Sun_Sun 5 years 7 weeks

u cant be very close to an overly sensitive person because u have to always be watching what ur saying and there cant be full disclosure....i cant deal with thatbut with that said, there are always lines that cannot be crossed

Sun_Sun 5 years 7 weeks

u cant be very close to an overly sensitive person because u have to always be watching what ur saying and there cant be full disclosure....i cant deal with that but with that said, there are always lines that cannot be crossed

Asia84 5 years 7 weeks

my close friends aren't extra sensitive like that. but i did have one friend who was weird.we were downtown, and she saw a bum lying in the middle of the sidewalk (downtown L.A. is full of them). and she burst out crying.and y'all know me, i was like, "ummmm. okaay." i just stepped over the guy. what do you want me to do, buy him a house to go live in?then, later on we went to El Pollo Loco ( i had the chicken nachos, OMG!), and there was a bum in there (yes, Downtown L.A. is not glamorous at ALL). and she started the waterworks again!don't get me wrong, homeless people are sad. but hell, that's like going to Watts and crying because you see a crack-head.that's just the way it is.either she can be an advocate for homeless people, or she can get over it.

Asia84 5 years 7 weeks

my close friends aren't extra sensitive like that. but i did have one friend who was weird. we were downtown, and she saw a bum lying in the middle of the sidewalk (downtown L.A. is full of them). and she burst out crying. and y'all know me, i was like, "ummmm. okaay." i just stepped over the guy. what do you want me to do, buy him a house to go live in? then, later on we went to El Pollo Loco ( i had the chicken nachos, OMG!), and there was a bum in there (yes, Downtown L.A. is not glamorous at ALL). and she started the waterworks again! don't get me wrong, homeless people are sad. but hell, that's like going to Watts and crying because you see a crack-head. that's just the way it is. either she can be an advocate for homeless people, or she can get over it.

omilawd 5 years 7 weeks

I have a friend who's overly-sensitive in a different way: she gets extremely angry at the littlest things. It's gotten to the point where no one can be around her alone, because it's just really awkward and frightening.

Cynnie 5 years 7 weeks

I think we all do and it's a bit irritating because you have to walk on egg shells with them. Though, I try to avoid that because you're just nourrishing that behavior by doing that. So, you say what you have to say and if that person stops being friends with you, then so be it...One, day this someone will realize that she's pushing people away and she'll have to question herself and her manners... I sound a bit strict lol

Cynnie 5 years 7 weeks

rpenner 5 years 7 weeks

I absolutely have a couple of these friends. And I just leave it to them to deal with. I don't treat them any differently and they get over it.

cubadog 5 years 7 weeks

It is definitely her problem. I cannot stand tit sucking babies also known as cry babies. People either learn that if you are going to ask me for an honest opinion that they will get it from me and not to expect any less. I do not sugar coat. I am going through this with a friend that just went through a divorce and she would ask for advice and then do the opposite I finally told her to stop asking me it crushed her but I had to tell her that she was being stupid. My sister is also like this and it drives me nuts.

cvandoorn 5 years 7 weeks

Sensitive friends don't last around me so they know to toughen up or to get lost.My advice to you: don't treat her any differently, let her deal with her own issues. Why baby her?

cvandoorn 5 years 7 weeks

Sensitive friends don't last around me so they know to toughen up or to get lost. My advice to you: don't treat her any differently, let her deal with her own issues. Why baby her?

Shopaholichunny 5 years 7 weeks

Yeah I do have a few friends like that it at times it annoys me but they are my friends so I just deal w/ it. I have a tendency to be frank and sarcastic so I just have to be nicer around them. :P

almost famous 5 years 7 weeks

I'm not overly sensitive however, little things gets on my nerves.

almost famous 5 years 7 weeks

I'm not overly sensitive however, little things gets on my nerves.

Kristinh1012 5 years 7 weeks

I don't have time or patience to deal with cry babies. If I say something that my friend doesn't like (which is very rare) that's just too bad and there must have been a reason and if the person is overly sensitive I think that is something that person has to get past for their own good. Eventually they get over it.

Kristinh1012 5 years 7 weeks

Link Love

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