Funny Tweets For Women November 2013

Tweets Girls Say: Part-Time Boyfriends and Buns of Anarchy

November 16, 2013

Time flies when you're having fun, so let's lighten the mood with the funniest tweets of the week! These past seven days, our favorite funny women on Twitter had us giggling over TV show puns, Movember jabs, reasons to stay single, and how pizza is like sex. All this and more await you below. Get your weekly dose of funny now, and don't forget to follow POPSUGARLove on Twitter!

You can't stop love.

My thighs touch because they're still deeply in love.

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) November 13, 2013

Damn straight.

For me it's never a walk of shame. I don't walk. I get in a minivan cab like a lady

— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) November 9, 2013

Origin of the term "lovesick." (Made that up.)

There's a reason why mistletoe is poisonous

— Allison Fields (@allisonfields) November 12, 2013

It just makes sense.

Pizza is a lot like sex - when it's good, it's great. And when it's bad, it's still pretty good.

— Heidi Selover (@happilyheidi) November 11, 2013

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High five.

“More like Buns of Anarchy am I right?” I said to my hamster last night while watching SOA.

— Lori (@HeyitsLori) November 13, 2013

Some of those guys can not pull it off.

if you're doing movember don't forget to also register as a sex offender!

— Sputnik Sweetheart (@Verlieren) November 14, 2013

Sounds like a good dream to me.

If I daydream about being engaged, it always ends with my fiancé dying tragically & me writing a bestselling memoir about my ill-fated love.

— Mandi Harris (@MandiHarris) November 14, 2013

And from personal experience, being blind actually sucks.

I miss the days when the only women who wore glasses to seem smart were librarians in porn.

— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) November 11, 2013

Part of your world base.

What base is it if I ask a guy to brush my hair with a fork?

— jacqueline carbajal (@jackiecarbajal) November 10, 2013

Meet-cute!

Guy at Starbucks orders a short blonde. I order a tall dark. Moment ensues.

— Kelly MacLean (@thekellymaclean) November 13, 2013

Can't argue with that.

REASONS TO STAY SINGLE: a. get to focus on yourself b. get to eat both fortune cookies c. get me a bigger notebook to list more reasons

— Stephanie Mickus (@smickable) November 14, 2013

Can't wait!

I looked forward to my 30s because I was told this is where my sexual peak is, yet here I am, eating tapioca pudding out of a coffee mug.

— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) November 11, 2013

We all have needs.

You can't just go have an entire relationship, then come back to me when it ends and expect me...just kidding what time are you coming over?

— Tricia (@Im_Tricia) November 8, 2013

Priorities.

looking for a part time boyfriend penis-optional kissing-optional chipotle-mandatory

— erin (@home_napping) November 12, 2013

The real reason they covered 'em up with leaves.

It must be exhausting to be a sculptor, what with the constant giggling while you're chiseling the penis.

— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) November 8, 2013

Butter over . . . lovers.

Pies before Guys.

— Maritza Lugo (@PolaRoid_Rage) November 12, 2013

Ah, the joys of online dating.

"You look at a picture of someone & send them a message then meet them in person then realize you made a horrible mistake" - online dating

— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) November 14, 2013

Mmm . . . a Gretchen.

Sometimes I look at engagement photos to feel better about being single. How mean is that on a scale of one to Regina George?

— Jess Tholmer (@tholmz) November 12, 2013

Planning ahead.

When I get married I will pick out a bridesmaid dress that you can wear again, at my next wedding

— sallybrooks (@sbrooks13) November 10, 2013

Just sweet, sweet lovemaking.

These movie adaptations of Stephanie Meyer books would have you believe there is no thrusting involved in sex.

— WritingInBed (@WritingInBed) November 11, 2013