Embarrassed About Virginity

by Tara Block 21

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

I oscillate between being ashamed that I'm a virgin, to being proud, to being indifferent. Right now I feel embarrassed about it. I was watching Girls on HBO and one character, Shoshanna, is a virgin. They write her character as being so neurotic and whenever she mentions to someone that she's a virgin, they look at her with shock and awe. In one scene, she was about to have sex with a guy, but he stopped and said something like, "Ewww, you're a virgin? I can't have sex with a virgin. They get too attached."

Anyway, I felt her sadness and embarrassment and it opened up an emotional can of worms for me. She's 21, like me.

After a string of bad dates, I just feel very discouraged and stigmatized. I was talking with a friend of a friend and she asked me if I'd ever had a threesome. When I told her that I'd never even had a twosome, she just kind of stared at me and silence fell over us. I've done different things with guys, just never sex. My mom tries to make me feel better about it because she lost her virginity at 20, but still.