The Bachelor Premiere's Awkward Moments With Juan Pablo

Chelsie really thought she was getting somewhere with Juan Pablo in the photo booth. They laughed, they made funny faces, and they used hilarious props! Once they got a look at the pictures, though, Chelsie realized it was pretty much a reel of Juan Pablo's face. Half of her face did get in one of the pictures, though!

Bachelor fans have seen it all — except a girl wheeling in on a custom-made piano-bike. Lauren S. really stood out to Juan Pablo, possibly because she could barely get her bike to the front steps (that thing looks heavy) and at one point, she hit the wrong note during her song.

Remember Sean's season when Lindsay stepped out of the limo in a wedding dress? Clare sees your wedding dress, Lindsay, and she raises you a fake pregnant belly. Juan Pablo actually didn't seem too fazed by it, and he even gave her a rose! I look forward to seeing what else Clare comes up with in the ensuing episodes . . .

Lauren H.'s night started out well, but as soon as she got inside, the tides shifted. She was unable to steal Juan Pablo away from the other women, broke down in tears, and by the time she did get to talk to him, she spilled all her dirty laundry. A broken engagement is tragic but definitely not first-date small talk.

"Free spirit" Lucy, 24, refused to wear shoes, opting instead to prance around barefoot. During her alone time with Juan Pablo, she promptly lounged over him and made him uncomfortable with her "confidence" and gross feet. Then she got a rose, because that makes sense.

Oh, girl. First of all, I couldn't have been the only one upset about Amy J. getting massage oils all over Juan Pablo's classy suit. Suits don't grow on trees, Amy J.! Her incandescent dress shimmered in the backyard lighting as Juan Pablo no doubt crawled out of his skin. He sent her packing, massage table and all.

The humanity! Sharleen was on the right track with Juan Pablo; she even brought him a drink after the introductions. Juan Pablo was so enraptured with her that he jumped off the couch to give her his first-impression rose, right as Sharleen — who arbitrarily kept calling him "sir" — explained to the camera that she wasn't feeling an instant connection. Her face when he gave her the rose was a priceless mix of "where's the exit" and "I already quit my job, may as well."

Well, this was just sad. It was getting down to the wire at rose ceremony time, and just as Juan Pablo called Kat down to accept her rose, Kylie stepped forward. Words cannot express how awkward this was for everyone. No smooth recovery possible.